Dear Borders... It's Over, but We'll Always Have Kingston

Dear Borders,

Yes, it's over. We have had a long and luscious affair, and I will never forget you. But we will always have Kingston, you know.

I'd say it was me, not you... but it was freaking YOU.

First, Barnes and Noble now as FREE wifi. Not pay as I go. Not "if you subscribe to the following." Free. They also charge for their discount program, true. But I get that discount every damned time. And they may send me coupons, but not as frequently as you do.

There's the problem. See it? Look up a line. It's right there. See, I no longer have a printer hooked up to any of my multiple computers because printer ink is damaging to the environment, and while using paper does encourage the planting of trees, it's still smarter to reduce anything that is going to be used once and destroyed. And the scanner code takes up an inch of one full page. And you are using the information stored on my Borders card to send me the coupon, so why not just attach it to the card that you have on file, will ask to scan at the register, and badgered me to get to begin with?

No? Cool. But we can't be together anymore. You don't have a Starbucks. You didn't have Mel Francis' Bite Me until over a week after the book was on shelves at BN. You are mean to trees. And I am starting to feel manipulated.

I'm sure you'll find another chubby cheapskate to lurk in your cafe. She won't be as cool as me, but then... is anyone?

Remember me fondly? Or don't.

Chrissy

Dear Barnes and Noble

Dear Barnes and Noble,

I have been a loyal Barnes and Noble card member for nearly 10 years. I've enjoyed my discounts and love sitting in the cafe on my laptop once a week.

In fact, I am in your cafe now. That's the bloated, achy feeling in your sub-cockle area. Not a funny feeling in the cockles of your heart, after all, nor indigestion... just moi.

Anyway, I have, in recent months, started my cafe-afternoon with Barnes and Noble. But I usually end up at Borders. Blasphemy? No. Quite frankly it's just a matter of survival as a book lover. I wish it weren't so, but it is.

Why do I stray from the store of my choice? You are no longer my store of choice, no matter how hard I try to make you so. Every Tuesday I come to your arms hopeful, but every Tuesday you fail me. I'm not sure why you would dick around with your bread and butter, but I don't work for you, so it's not my responsibility to fix it, either.

Simple solution, really. PUT THE NEW RELEASES ON THE GODDAMNED SHELF ON THE FREAKING DAY OF RELEASE.

Anyway, I know it's cold to do this on a blog, but I'm not going to renew my membership in the fall and I'll be seeing other bookstores. Borders may not have the "instant" discount, but they have rewards bucks and treat me really well. They know where I want my books and when I need them.

I'd say it's not you, it's me... but it's you.

Witchily-Bitchily,
Chrissy