Java Blue

For quite some time now I have been a Vera Bradley fanatic. I resisted. My mom and many friends were swearing by her years ago and I snorted in derision at their silly loyalty to a woman who made pocketbooks out of pretty quilted fabrics. But then I found one, particular pattern I loved (Chocolat) and gave her a try. I am now a devoted compulsive buyer.

Next month she's coming out with some new patterns, but my current scheme is Java Blue. The background "wallpaper" you see on my blog template was taken from the Java Blue swatches and altered into graphics by me. (She gets credit at the bottom of the page, of course.) It is, for me, the perfect palette for my life.

It's my favorite of all time, in fact, and a recent inventory proved a bit distressing. I own the following in Vera Bradley Java Blue:

Hobo Bag

Betsy Bag

Check Book Cover

Laptop Case

Umbrella

Makeup Bag

Wallet

Crusher Beach Hat

Baseball Cap

Rolling Luggage

I'm considering buying several more pocketbooks to keep in reserve. It takes a long time to wear them out, but I'm very dedicated.

And now I have a blog in Java Blue. Using Paint Shop Pro is good for my hands, since they are still locking up from the mild stroke I had. I'm determined to force my body back to its slightly hyper-kinetic version of "normal."

You know... Vera is making rugs, housewares, and interior decorating stuff these days. I wonder how pissed off Ahmed would be if I did the renovations in Maine in Java Blue?

A Brief Sabbatical

In the coming weeks I will be updating this blog, but not with any urgency or particular frequency. Family issues and my own poor health require me to slow things down and spend some quality time on the things that matter. I suffered a mild stroke last weekend, thought I had dodged the damage bullet, but found I am having a few issues with my arms and hands.

Romance News will be active again in July. We will be giving away some gift certificates to Barnes and Noble. Mark Springwell will be handling The Sceptics' Tank, and Ahmed will be intercepting mail on an intermittent basis so that I can catch up on sleep and adjust to the changes in my body, and get used to this new medication.

Other things will be in flux until I no longer am.

Sneak Preview... Paisley Blog Skins

WebSong has been featuring a blog of the month, and I have been doing themes as part of the rebuild of the site.

This month I am going to be putting up a set of PAISLEY themes in several color schemes. The first was done in autumn colors (I know, first day of summer, so sue me).

Small Preview:



Download it here:

Autumn Paisely Blog Skin

There is also a lilac shaded set.

Small Preview:



Download it here:

Lilac Paisely Blog Skin

More paisley sets are coming. Check back.

Help Bring Staci Home

UPDATE!!:


Staci was reunited with her family and is safe after a rather trying ordeal and a good bit of movement. (She was eventually tracked down in San Francisco.) Many thanks to everyone who supported the search, sent out prayers, and blogged the photo and search information.

Let's hear it for miracles!

The Curious Phenomenon of Career Suicide by Chronological Advancement

Like the title? Say it ten times fast and you might win a Buick! But, seriously, folks...

Three times in the past week this topic has emerged from the musty pile of pet peeves I keep under my bed with an assortment of dust kitties, manky socks, and dirty notes Ahmed has written me on Post-its.

What am I talking about?

The curious phenomenon that occurs when a romance novelist who is brilliant writes FORWARD in time til she jumps the shark.

Ok, you still don't know what I'm talking about. Stay with me, I'll walk you through it.

Often, great historical romance writers have broken my heart (and, according to my non-scientific girlfriend poll, many other hearts) by hooking me with great historicals, only to inch forward in chronological history with each consecutive novel they release. Dangling great plots and wonderful protagonists in front of loyal readers, they will very subtly, sneakily advance the setting a few decades here, a few centuries there. We follow. Of course we follow. It's like hooking a 50 dollar bill on the end of a fishing line and dragging it through a trailer park. Next thing you know we've left medieval England and we're wandering Civil War America. Cool! Then we sidle out west with the wagon trains, and get all pioneer. And, hey, look at this, a new title set at the turn of the last century!

Then it happens.

Hehe. What's this? * nervous chuckle* A contemporary mystery? That's cool, that's great! Neato, hehe. Hardcover? Oh. Err... Well, OK, cool, no problem, I LOVE her, she's worth it! So when are we going back to historicals?

What? Umm. What's that you say, there, author-I-worship? Hehe. * nervous chuckle* No more historicals? But, umm... the last three books you wrote were almost 25 bucks and they umm... well, you know I love you, but umm. Well, they sucked a little bit, didn't they? Hehe. Ok, ok, ok, you have kids, ok. Needed a break. Gotcha. Midlife crisis, maybe? But, umm... could you not SUCK anymore? No pressure, no offense. Loyal fan here, hehehe.

It isn't contemporary romance. I like all romance genres. Historical romance isn't even my favorite. It isn't writers straddling sub-genres. Some of my favorite authors (Sherrilyn Kenyon/Kinley MacGregor, Johanna Lindsay, Maggie Shayne, to name a few) write many different kinds of romance, set in many different times, worlds, places.

I can't really explain it. Something irreversibly damaging happens to writers who start out with historicals, move forward chronologically with subsequent books, and settle in the contemporary market. It kills careers. Well, no, it doesn't kill careers. It should kill careers, but it fizzles them, in stead, and kills the idealistic admiration of readers. Inevitably, these authors (some of the best) end up in the "what the hell happened to" category.

Oh, I know. I'm a bitch. But it's not just me. I've had the "what the hell happened to" conversation so many times I know it by heart.

And it all starts off with the seductive, lulling sense of well being as a writer we love explores new territory. Then it all goes to hell in a badly woven hand-basket with a moth-eaten tea towel and satanic, low-fat muffins. The kind that are all rubbery and utterly devoid of chocolate chips, walnuts, dried fruit, and other bloody necessary muffin stuff.

Blech.

Anyway, I refuse to list, here, on a public blog, the massive roll call of once-great women who have, sadly, fallen prey to career suicide by chronological advancement (or, as it is also known, literary jumping of the shark). I will, however, put forth this dire warning:

Write anything you want. Just scramble the historical order. Please!

TRUST ME.

Dead, Dead, DEAD

He's not been dead long, and already idiots are attempting to soften his street rep. We are supposed to feel some sort of chagrin, I suppose, at hearing that Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi lived approximately an hour after US troops attempted to blow him to smitherines. NBC was careful to point out that the Iraqi leader of al-Qaeda's autopsy showed no signs of physical abuse.

Pity, that.


So the man who personally beheaded innocents is dead, and may have lingered after a bombing. Cry me a river. Americans were, for the most part, spared the gruesome videos so gleefully circulated by Al Jazeera. Zarqawi executed people who did him absolutely no harm. Beheading is not the quick, clean slice we see in movies. It requires effort, and takes time. Victims of this hideous and cowardly act suffer greatly.

I feel no sense of moral relief to know that Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi survived the bombing but was not abused. Our good men and women in uniform are far more merciful than I, and thank heavens they are. Because every time a soldier twitches the wrong way he or she is accused of an atrocity, as if war were not an atrocity in and of itself. We are attempting to rid the world of people who slaughter innocents with glee. We do so under the watchful eye of jackasses who cloak themselves in self righteous outrage while pointing fingers at everyone from the president to the men dodging bullets in a war zone uglier than anything we have known in our lifetimes.

Most of the media-left is gravely predicting that Zarqawi will be replaced and this will cause an increase in violence. News flash: the violence will increase until its source is depleted enough to make this impossible. The West continues to report on the war against terror as though terrorists thought like New York Times columnists. They don't. Fanatics think only of their obsession, and their desire for blood has an ON/OFF switch, but does not have a speed setting.

They also like to claim that Bin Ladin had/has no connection to Iraq. Which is odd, because Zarqawi's replacement addressed him directly immediately upon seizing power. Al-Muhajir made remarks to Bin Ladin, identifying him by name, in his first statement. "We await your signal and follow your orders, and we give you the good tidings that morale is high among your soldiers."

Huh. Weird. They weren't even supposed to know one another.

The good men and women at CNN gravely inform us that Zarqawi was alive for 52 minutes after the bombing. Wolf Blitzer sagely imparts the surprising news that autopsy reports indicate members the finest trained military in the world didn't torture the sonofabitch prior to his death. Carefully schooled relief just oozes from his pores.

Know what? I hope reports are wrong. I hope tracks and asses were completely covered, but I also hope Zarqawi was alive, suffering, and that the last thing he saw was a great big combat boot heading straight for his bloody noggin.

America must always put forth a face of compassion. That doesn't mean I can't be thinking something entirely different behind that stagnant mask. I would feel an absolute gush of patriotism to know somebody had kicked that filthy weasel while he was down.

Chocolate Cake Recipe

Well, as a result of my recent adventures in medical experimentation, Romance News is going to go to publication late this month.

But good news!

The eggless chocolate cake recipe everyone has been begging me to give over the past ten years is here for your baking pleasure as a bribe. I also included the quick cream cheese frosting that seems, in my opinion, perfect with this ultra-chocolatey cake.

It's not only the BEST cake recipe I know, it's the best tasting and so quick you will be convinced you left something out. There are other variations on this out there, but I've tweaked this one til it's flawless and fool-proof.

Chrissy's Idiot-Proof
Dark Chocolate Cake

3 cups flour
2 cups sugar
8 to 10 tablespoons cocoa
2 teaspoons baking soda
3/4 cup melted margerine
2 tablespoons vanilla
2 cups water
2 tablespoons vinegar

Prepare a tube or bundt pan (grease and flour). You can use the batter for cupcakes but I don't recommend it as a layer cake. Preheat your oven to 350.

Mix dry ingredients, add melted margerine, vanilla, then cold water, stirring each in well. Add vinegar last. This should yield a heavy, glossy batter without lumps. If you use a mixer, do it on a low setting. Avoid over-mixing.

Fold into pan and bake for approximately 40 minutes. The top of your cake should have a slight give, and a toothpick should come out SLIGHTLY coated with crumbs, not completely clean.

Chrissy's Simple Cream Cheese Icing

1 12 oz brick cream cheese
1 tablespoon vanilla (you can substitute almond extract or your choice)
10 tablespoons milk (or cream)
1 box confectioner's sugar

Blend the cheese til softened, add vanilla. Add confectioner's sugar and milk alternately, adjusting to your desired consistency. This icing is slightly sugary/tacky to the touch rather than fluffy.

I top this cake with roses made out of tootsie rolls. Always a hit.