It’s not every day that a miracle finds us. But today is Saturday, September 3rd, and a miracle hath foundeth me.
From the crumby depths of a bag of potato chips, the Lord hath spoken!
Behold the Chip of Tourin—not to be confused with the Shroud of Tourin, which is safely stored in Tourin, Italy. This potato chip, which CLEARLY SHOWS THE FACE OF JESUS, was discovered in my bag of UTZ, on my bed, in my humble Green Harbor home.
For those who don’t know what the Shroud of Tourin looks like…
ACTUAL PHOTO OF THE UPPER PART OF THE ACTUAL SHROUD OF TOURIN, WHICH IS IN NO WAY MADE OF POTATO PRODUCTS. --->
Below, in contrast, is the Chip of Tourin. You can clearly see the Savior, right there in the middle of the tear-drop-shaped, crinkle cut, fried spud.
I am praying on the proper way to honor The Chip. Tonight I will review the user agreement on eBay, and will possibly sell The Chip so that I may buy my father a boat… err, so that he can become a Fisher of Men (and also striped bass).
It is also possible that I will be scraping a few crumbs into the manky waters of Flaherty’s Pond, behind Our Lady of the Assumption, and charging a modest fee for Healing of the Waters. Get Ye Dipped in Chip Glory! Gotta check in with Father Ballard on that one.
Anyway, spread the Good News that all shall Rejoice! The Chip Has Risen and was Spared the Smiting of the Dip!