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Wednesday, January 06, 2010

It's Not Vanity, It's Common Sense

A while ago I struggled with some hair loss issues, including the loss of my eyelashes and eyebrows. I have to say, I am STILL a little blown away at the hysteria this prompted from some friends and acquaintances. It's hair. It grows back. Even when (in my case), it stays a little thin, there are options.

But I had people actually say, right to my face, that surgery, even losing my breasts, would be preferable to losing hair. Not only is that disgustingly vain, it's offensive that anyone would suggest their choices were superior to anyone else's at such a time. They're MY boobs, thanks. It's MY hair, thanks. The boobs remained. The hair grew back. I'm still alive.

Then, yesterday, a friend asked me if I had tried LATISSE, that lash growing formula Brooke Shields is pimping. I told her I would never even consider it, since the side effects are far too severe, and my lashes did grow back. You can read about those side effects here. She persisted, noting that the mascara I was wearing "wasn't really helping." I responded by pointing out that I wasn't wearing mascara... in fact, I was wearing nothing but a translucent mineral veil. She persisted some more, started to piss me off, and I pointed out that one of my favorite things about myself is the color of my eyes, which I inherited from my grandmother.

Then she called me vain.

Well, welcome to the world of massive WTF-ery. I'm so vain I prefer to keep my green eyes, rather than risk turning them brown, having my eyelids go dark, experiencing itching and redness, tightness in the chest, breathing issues, facial swelling, and "changes in vision," which is code for "damage to your freaking eyesight, moron."

I will never understand why some people feel any refusal to accept their advice is a rejection of them as a person. I don't get why people make the assumption that medical science can't possibly be a more helpful and wise course to follow than their recommendations based on the complex intellectual process known as "Google and what I heard in the break room."

But I know I'm NOT vain. Believe me, when you spend 4 months at a time with no hair, parchment skin, covered in scars and sores, lacking both eyelashes and eyebrows, and it can't keep you out of Starbucks... you're kind of the opposite of VAIN.

Also I hope your eyes turn shit brown and your lips puff up til you look like you were attacked by bees. Now go away.

8 comments ]:[ Add your comment:

Rhonda Helms said...

((hugs)) I think I need to come up there and start kicking people. Just call me, and I'm all over it. SO SO SO sorry you're dealing with that.

Delia DeLeest said...

I think you're beautiful - I'm glad you don't let other peoples insecurities influence you.

btw, every time I see that Latisse commercial, I want to slap Brooke and everyone else involved. Anyone who takes that crap DESERVES those side effects plus more.

bettie said...

Generally, I think that people who feel any refusal to accept their advice is a rejection of them as a person are pretty darn vain. Isn't it the height of vanity to think you know best for the people around you?

Side note: Latisse was originally a medication for glaucoma. My mom has glaucoma, and used to cut her eyelashes off when they started growing due to that crazy stuff (she wears glasses. They kept hitting the lenses.). The side effects are pretty nasty, but it was worth it to her because it kept her from going blind. She was pissed as hell to find out people were using it cosmetically, partly because when there's a cosmetic use for a medication, it makes it harder for folks who have real illness to get approved by insurance.

Trisha said...

Wait. Let me get this straight. You should apply a seriously dangerous chemical to make your lashes grow back, but not wanting to change the color of your eyes is vain?? Am I missing a link somewhere there? WTF-ery doesn't even begin to cover all those lapses in judgement. You just keep on keepin' on Chrissy. Sheesh. Some people's children!

Chaeya said...

I know, Trish. Who wants camel lashes at the risk of screwing yourself up worse than you were. I think it's rude to even suggest to you what you should do about your appearance or how they would handle it. Honestly, these people don't know what they would do if they were faced with the same situation. I say a little STFU-ery to the WTF-ery is in store.

Leigh Royals said...

What does vanity have to do with it? Boobs don't grow back, hair does. Eye color doesn't revert once damaged, Hair does. Stupidity, well, that's permanent too...

Glad you don't suffer from THAT malady.

Elise Logan said...

Um. What Leigh said.

And, you know, I'm always available for some smackdown if you need assistance....

Charlotte McClain said...

Every time I see the Latisse commercial all I can think is "Who would want to do that to themselves?"
Idiots.

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