Baby, Come Back

He's gone and won't be back til the first week of December. And honestly, I thought I was cool. Ahmed is often away on business-- one week a month, in fact. And we have always been two people who thrived on time apart. He's in Cambridge while I am in Green Harbor for a lot of our week. No biggie, right?

OMG wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. I'm LOSING it. This month my guy is spending time in England with his family, celebrating his father's 90th birthday, and also the arrival of a brand new nephew, Alexander. He doesn't get nearly enough time with them, and I am so happy they are getting these two weeks.

After that he goes to Texas to meet with some fellow physicians who are doing research on PF... then off to Nova Scotia for the last week of the month, as usual. But that means, combined with the last week of October (when he had strep throat), I will be without him a total of 5+ weeks. I am sitting on nearly 3 now.

Where on earth did I get the idea I could do this without wigging?

Yeah, as I enter week three I am finding that I have to force myself to be positive. Once a day we talk on the phone, usually for about an hour. Even Max misses his daddy. While we chat long distance the little guy sits on my lap and tilts his head, making little sad noises, whenever he hears that much-beloved voice buzzing away against my ear.

I know, intellectually, that I count on Ahmed a lot and that he is a huge part of my daily existence. But it's times like this I really have to face how much I need him, love him, and miss even something as simple as hearing his voice in the next room or knowing I can be in his arms in an instant if I want to be. I miss him cursing under his breath. I miss trying to get up to pee at 3 AM only to find myself trapped in a sleepy strangle-hold.

I'll survive, of course. But I will also be showing some serious appreciation when our baby comes back. It can't be too soon!