Sunday, August 19, 2007

CVS is WATCHING YOU!

CVS needs to bloody well back it up. It's not that I don't like CVS. I do. But I noticed something tonight that put my panties in a twist, to use the slightly cheeky colloquialism.

I love me some coupons, oh yes I do! And the coolest thing about CVS (second coolest, really... open 24 hours is the coolest) is that I get massive printouts of coupons every time I visit. Usually these are a mixed bag of "we noticed you buy Olay blah blah, how 'bout $2 off Aveeno whosiwhats?" I trash those. I know what I want. I buy what I want. Sometimes I get a few $4 off a purchase of $20 or over. These are great, since it's rare I escape CVS for under that. Coolios! I also get some great $5 and $10 dollar no-holds-barred coupons, which I horde like leprechaun gold.

But those of us who are CVS haunters occasionally glance at some of the small print on the receipt. Tonight, after picking up mum's meds, a few magazines, and the Sunday Globe, I scanned the receipt before tearing off my goodies. Listed were:

  • Spent this quarter-- yep, wow, I do spend a lot.

  • Savings to date-- yep, cool beans!

  • Hershey Bars Purchased this year--


  • WTF???

    Listen, CVS... ummm... thing is, you listen, k? My Hershey Bar purchases are nobody's damned beeswax, aight? You-you-you sit there JUDGING ME like some sort of... of... of Hershey Bar Big Brother. Well, well-- umm-- well, I won't have it, see? And by the way, big snotty candy bar spy people with your perfect cholesterol levels and your little white lab coats and your suck up to them with savings then tell the world about their Hershey stats, 14 isn't even that many!

    IT IS NOT!!!

    Plus, I don't always buy them for me, and sometimes I use them for things you don't even know about. Like I use them for my special cookies and brownies that I don't even eat... mostly. So... so...

    Well, so THERE!

    I can't imagine why CVS feels the need to track my purchases quietly, without impunity, with this one exception. Is there a "hair spray" total? No. Nail polish? No. Sticky notes? No. Astroglide? Thank you, sweet god of protection from humiliation, NO.

    Why mock me with the Hershey thing? Why? I mean, what did I ever do to you but praise your name, make use of your coupons, and increase your stock values?

    Et tu, CVS? Et tu?

    13 comments ]:[ Add your comment:

    Dayna_Hart said...

    Spent this quarter? Ok...that one would weird me out...but only because it would all have been spent on chocolate bars. :)

    Diana Castilleja said...

    Oh Chrissy. You crack me up! Hershey bar watchdog huh?? LOL

    Sara Thacker said...

    You tell em Chrissy. It's nobody's business how man of those Hershey's you ate. I mean, come on, the name is Her and She put togehter with a little y at the end. Hershey's were made for women. CVS needs to back off!

    Shonna Brannon said...

    hehe...I seriously wouldn't want to know hw many I ate. I think about it enough withut seeing it in print.

    Amanda Brice said...

    ROFLMAO!!!!!

    Pamela Tyner said...

    LOL! But here's what I'm wondering--after tracking your Hershey bars purchases (the nerve!), did they at least give you a coupon for them?

    Curious Lady said...

    So funny! And scary.

    Chrissy said...

    Gees, Pamela, I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF THAT.

    No, btw, they did NOT coupon me for my Hershey total.

    Well... this is a whole other kettle of fish!

    off to write a strongly worded letter...

    Rhonda Stapleton said...

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA nice...and good call, get that Hershey's coupon!!!

    Michelle Hasker said...

    Thanks for this post. I want to go to cvs and see what's on the bottom of my receipt. My luck mine will say diapers purchased. Hehehe

    Authorstreet said...

    OMG!!! I need to look at my reciepts closer. Heaven forbid that my husband see that total, I blame my hips on his,friday night must have,pizza ;)

    Cassandra said...

    Ohmygawd! Now I have to search my purse to find my CVS receipt! Geeze, I didn't really buy that many bags of Doritos, did I? Or bags of Brach's Starlight Mints? Sheesh.

    I mean I have to buy the mints after consuming that many bags of Doritos. :P

    C.C.

    Toni Sue said...

    Astroglide?! I was drinking when I read that and spit water (thank God) all over my monitor at work. You kill me! :)

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