What Writers Want for Christmas

If you love a writer and are struggling to come up with new ideas this holiday gift-giving season, you are not alone. Being a writer does not necessarily render me exempt from the same struggle, since I love many writers, too. My problem, this year, isn't finding new, cool gift ideas. My problem is picking only one! Technology has made it ridiculously easy to find gadgets, gizmos, and other great gifts for anyone of esoteric-- particularly literati-- leanings.

How about THIS little gizmo? Franklin's MP3 Player not only puts a groove in your step, but includes a complete Merriam Webster Dictionary! Imagine your beloved scribe piled into his or her favorite corner down at the Starbucks Cafe with her laptop cracked open, tunes on the earbuds, and a full dictionary dangling around her neck with her playlist. Ultra-coolios! Available at Franklin's
Website.

If your writer doesn't have a jump drive WHERE HAS HE OR SHE BEEN? Even if a jump drive or two are hanging around the desk, most writers like having more than one or two. I have one for each publication or larger project. These days you can pick up a nice, small, keychain drive for under 20 bucks, but some of the coolest are LEXAR products. Check out the Expression line at their website.

Not sure what to get, but looking for something practical? Are you a DH who wants to get VERY lucky this Yuletide eve? Many writers on a budget long for a domain name of their own but don't want to splurge. Consider DotEasy, one of the best webhosts with the best prices. For 25 dollars a year you get a domain, hosting, emails, and support. As an added bonus, maybe you could have attractive business cards made up with your_grateful_writer.com (his or her new domain) on them. Trust me... you will get a VERY enthusiastic response. Double-secure that mistletoe!

New Novelist Software is a clever, useful tool for any writer just starting out. Got a fledgling story teller in your life and want to give encouragement? This would be a great way to do it. Showing your creative genius you believe in him or her with a helpful program like this one-- and a nudge-- is a great way to show both support and practicality. Reasonably priced, this is a gift nobody else will think of giving, but one that will be appreciated.

Most of us love getting magazines, but don't want to spend the money for a subscription. Writers are particularly fond of trade magazines, and the journal of preference for most is Writer's Digest. While it does have a lot of cheesy advertising, it also provides great resources regarding retreats, conferences, contests, and tips every writer should have. Consider this show of support that comes once a month for a year.

New Teal Butterfly Blogskin from WebSong

This month I've done a teal butterfly theme with dark, shadowed trim and a butterfly created using the butterflips font and my own sleight of hand in PSP. Nice colors, very bold and rich.
Download the text to paste into blogger below:

TEAL BUTTERFLY CODE

(Click the link-- if you see HTML rather than text, right click, select VIEW SOURCE, and copy the code.)

See the blogskin live at the WebSong blog:

VIEW TEAL BUTTERFLY FULL SIZE

Dunkin' Dorknuts Thinks You Are Stupid

Have you seen the new Dunkin' Dorknuts commercial? Dazed and somewhat dull looking people stand at a "trendy" cafe, staring at the menu, and begin to sing about how they can't pronounce what is there. Is it French, they wonder, or Italian... perhaps Fritalian?
John Goodman's voice then comes on explaining that at Dunkin' Dorknuts you can now get lattes... in English. And it's not all scary there. People speak English.
*SIGH*
1. The word "latte" doesn't become English because an English speaking person is saying it.
2. 90% of the people at Dunkin' Dorknuts don't speak English. The other 10% barely speak it. (And I'm actually speaking of both Americans and those of foreign origin here.)
3. People who genuinely can't tell the difference between French and Italian aren't necessarily stupid, but is celebrating ignorance and courting stupidity cool now? (The commercial begins, remember, with vacant stares.)
4. Nobody at Dunkin' Dorknuts has ever once gotten an order correct the first time in any language.
Just some things to think about... gotta go. Off to Starbucks! :D

And Stay Out!

For those wondering where the Cobblestone posts went... they went where they belonged, which was into the garbage. My intention was to consult with my lawyer (I did) and edit them. She advised me to remove headers, footers, and truncate the emails involved to any quoted length not complete. This would have complied with both IP and IS law, and would have made me pretty much bullet proof.

I was given an ultimatum by Cobblestone, and completely ignored it. I was threatened a few times, in fact, and appreciate the laughs. Laughs are always a blessing, even when they come from the stupidity of others... in fact, OFTEN when they come from the stupidity of others.

Everyone who wanted to know the truth read it. Everyone who wanted to weigh in, did so. Anyone curious can always email me. As a result, I sat in the editing window for a few minutes and decided to remove what was a very negative discussion. No ulterior motives or anything else... I simply decided that the positive place this blog has been needed to be cleaned up.

But it reminded me of something.

When I first got Max he was just a year old and still very much a puppy in all the ways that counted. The first time he had his food changed he became constipated. I took him outside that morning and it took him a very long time to do his business. In a moment that has now become family legend, he finished his rather difficult... err... expulsion, turned around to look, and barked very angrily at the poop. The joke, at the time, was that he was very clearly saying "aaaand stay out!!"

To this day, whenever something very crappy happens but ends without great injury, Ahmed and I will look at one another and say "aaand stay out!" It's an inside-- or maybe outside?-- joke between us.

Why relate this crappy little tale now? I feel a bit like Max must have felt that chilly morning. The entire Cobblestone bruhaha should not have happened, and it stank. Forcing it into the light was ugly, and further stank. But when one is angry the temptation is to linger with the anger. Unfortunately, in this instance, I would have been forced to linger with the stink, as well.

Ick.

I think Max's way is better. All jerks involved in recent spammings, threats, and unprofessional idiocy should consider themselves shat. Good luck with the flies. Aaaaaand stay out!

What a Nice Profile You Have...

When I was a student at Oxford University's Worcester College the IRA was busy trying to blow many, many things to smithereens. As an American of immediate and rather politically-minded Irish heritage, being searched, wanded, and questioned by British authorities was a regular occurance. My last name is not Irish (it's Austrian), but it seems likely that there was a profile on me somewhere considering some of my family ties (nuf said?) and whatnot.

I never minded, incidentally.

Which is why I find it a bit whiny for those in my own country who complain about being profiled in airports. Unless you are bruised, bleeding, or detained behind iron bars for no other reason than your appearance, shut up. Ahmed never complains when he is flagged during trips. I never complained when I had to join my friends after being wanded all those years ago. Know why? I was a visitor in a country under attack by extremists. They never hurt me, and were, in fact, typically polite every time it happened. For that matter, Ahmed (an American) has always been treated respectfully when questioned or searched, as well.

I suspect this has more to do with our willingness than it has to do with those whose job it is to profile us. Bad people are killing innocents every day. Complaining about having to show up at the airport a little early seems a bit ridiculous under the circumstances.

Romance News Update and Eyebrow Adventures

Romance News is up and good and guess what??? I didn't have to do it. Oh, yes, I edited it, and made a few executive decisions. I wrote an article and a "changes" piece, but this month I didn't do any reviews. Our new staffer, Shannon, is a wonder. We love her. Less work for me at this time in my life is a huge help, what with treatments constantly changing and daily causes for slight hysteria. Did I mention my eyebrows fell out?

What does a girl do when her eyebrows fall out? More importantly, what does she do when only PART of her ebrows fall out? Would you believe this is the ridiculousness I am dealing with this week?

Last month big sections of my eyebrows did fall out during chemo. Quite a bit of hair went south, too, but there are wigs and creative cutting, etc to bail you out of fashion hell in that case. Hey, Vera Bradley makes baseball caps now, so I'm good to go. My problem arose from the partiality of the experience. Do I shave the normal-looking bit on the inside? Do I pluck or shave the extension on the outside, from the point of interrupted chasm? Or do I simply draw in the gap?

I went the artistic route and left what I still had alone, using one of those eybrow kits you get at the pharmacy to connect the dots. My friend Maria was a big help. She claims that all Latin women have a natural gift with eyebrow repair. Not sure what that's all about, but she was certainly adept at tutoring me.

The interesting thing is how cancer (and I hope, someday, pulmonary fibrosis, but so far not so much) can bring little moments of coolness into our lives. Don't get me wrong, and don't call the Pollyanna police. I'm not saying I would ever sign up for another round of chemo, or that I have enjoyed having cancer come back to haunt me repeatedly. I wouldn't. But I was taught by very wise women over my 41 years to look for the lesson in everything, because pain is my teacher. Every heartache is a lesson in need of learning.

The lessons this round of cancer taught me were patience, preparedness, and eyebrow repair 101. Treating it removed me from the PF treatments I cling to for just a little while. I was scared, and I rarely feel genuine, bone-deep fear. I had to wait it out and have faith I could get back on that merry-go-round, and faith came through once more. Being prepared to hear the diagnosis was something I'd practiced before... and have apparently mastered. Ahmed is a big part of that, but Ahmed is a big part of everything that matters.

As for eyebrows, you never know when a friend is going to teach you a valuable new skill. Plus it got me some time with Maria. She is an amazing woman and an incredible friend... and hell on wheels with an NYC Eyebrow Kit!

Toys for Tots and Toys R Us -- Making the Season Bright!

If you want to get a major warm fuzzy and kick off the holiday season with a smile, get active with the wonderful people at Toys for Tots, an incredible charity run by US Marines that gets toys to kids in need during the holiday season.
This year Toys for Tots has joined with Toys R Us to match any donations you make. Check out the link, or visit a store near you and get involved. It will make your season bright, too!

What I'm Reading (and recommending)

Last week, while wandering Barnes and Noble on my "treatment" day, I came across a clever little book. If you love a writer, this would be an IDEAL Christmas present. Most of us are too busy throwing all our spare cash at reference books for serious purposes, and are unlikely to splurge the 12 bucks for this neat little book, but it would be a greatly appreciated gift. I bought four copies in anticipation of the holidays. A high-quality paperback (glossy, with the stiffer binding and heavier weight in books meant to be showcased), it offers advice to writers by sun sign, including the best ways to beat writer's block and lists of authors who share his/her sign. Major guilty pleasure and tons of fun.

Super Tuesday Musings

This Super Tuesday has not been a cut-and-dried experience for me. I am, as most people know, a pretty devoted Republican. I'm not an idiot, so I don't vote party lines very strictly, but more often than not I do vote Republican. When I veer from the path it's usually in a state or local election. Today I had something of a conundrum with which to deal.

Kerry Healey is the MA GOP gubernatorial candidate. She's not terribly conservative, and I don't trust her. She took huge amounts of money (by way of campaign ads, chiefly) from Big Dig contractors who are supposed to be getting the bums-rush from the Romney-Healey administration. She used very sleazy tactics during the campaign, and gives off an ill-disguised odor of racism. (She spent a lot of time criticizing Deval Patrick's immigration policies while stumping at events for Irish causes at which about 30% of the attendants were illegal. So brown people are dangerous and freckle-faced Southie folks are dangerous, but often get illegal voting status, so s'all good?)

Generally if an incumbent has been in office for a long time I vote the other way. Massachusetts has been selling senatorial and rep seats for decades, and I think it's unhealthy. Ted Kennedy has been in office longer than I have been alive and I'm middle aged (41). In many of those races the candidates were unopposed, or the opponent was with a rather crispy sounding party. I'm a political risk-taker, but I'm not voting for anyone running on the Sparkly Sunshine Party ticket.

So in three races I wrote in my dad's name. He's a good guy and could only do minimal damage, and if a miracle happened and he got elected I could possibly get a seat at the pork belly buffet!

One of my oldest friends-- Pete-- is also a Republican. He started off a Communist but I wore him down. I conned him into regressing long enough to vote for Deval Patrick, a Democrat, in lieu of Kerry Healey, a weasel.

As we were leaving the polls several charities were taking donations and selling raffle tickets. Some nice old ladies were selling chances on a quilt. "Take a chance?" they asked Pete.

"Lady, I just did," he scowled, still grumbling about my strong arm tactics. I've known him since first grade, and he was cranky even then.

Before we left the polling area (Furnace Brook School) I let Max out of the car for a second while I further convinced Pete he had done the right thing. Somebody had left some Healey signs by the fence. Max peed on one of them.

"That's gotta be an omen." Pete seemed convinced.

"Would I give you bad advice?" I won't publish his response here. Doesn't matter, really, I already got my way. < EG >